Tag: Unconditional Love

On The Third Day it brings with it HOPE

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New year brings new hope no doubt about it but it also brings with it the unrequited memories of last year and years before that, whether you or for you and not necessarily love but more often than not it is about it.

The new year seems like a beacon that reminds us that we have to renew what needs to be done and if not then to dump it and move on.

Yes, move on.

A lot of us, me included, cannot leave some of our past(s) behind. We hold on to what should have, could have and would have been if only … we have that tendencies to overthink of the future that we forget to remember that we are actually at present.

The present, not wrapped in red glittery sheet with a bow, but an open gift that renews ones hope everyday that life will be different if only we choose it to be.

So on the third day of twenty sixteen, my true self gave to me is HOPE that

… life will be good

… challenges will be tolerable

… friendship will be real

… love would be unconditional

… freedom is sweet

… peace is possible

… travel will be far and wide

… kindness is eternal

… courage is in me and in you

… fighting is over

… surrender is godly

… differences are tolerated

… charity begins with me

Right here, right now!

D

Dearly beloved …

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Marriage is supposed to be one of the best transitions a man and woman can have in their lives. Finding the one to spend your life with is something every one of us desires because we are a creature for companionship and we are of course capable of expressing love.

But what if the marriage becomes an escape because you find yourself pushed to the wall and the only way to get out is to marry the man you’re with?

The youngest sister of my best friend is in such situation, good thing they love each other so much they are willing to get through their situation together in spite of the challenges faced now and in the future. I say that because her family does not accept her boyfriend because he is of different religious affiliation and from a broken family.

Is that ground to prevent two people expressing  their love for each other? Do they (the family) should weigh in their own agenda in the couple’s relationship?

Personally, I have nothing against mix marriages be it religion or ethnicity and does not discriminate if they come from a broken family – children are never to blame for the separation of two consenting adults but (of course) they are the ones that suffer a lot.

Let’s call my friend’s sister Rikki; they come from a big family of 7 sisters and one brother and very religious family from their mom’s side. They pride themselves to be very straightforward when it comes to marrying from other religion — they don’t like the person immediately, don’t care to know who that person is because they don’t worship the same God.

Of the two sisters that are married, one married to a Catholic and one to someone from their faith. The only brother is also married to someone from another religion but converted to their religion. The rest of the older sisters are not married.

The marriage of the sister to someone from their religion was attended by the whole family, while the another sister married to the Catholic was snubbed by their mom and the rest of the sisters. Only the dad, brother, and my family witnessed the wedding (she is my best friend since birth after all). The brother when he got married, it was clear that the future wife will convert, so they tolerated and attended with an attitude.

Now the youngest, Rikki, the 8th child is involved with a great guy but of a different religion. He was never welcomed even with the show interest to convert. Rikki’s siblings and mother’s mind are set to make it difficult for them to be happy together. It reached a point where they throw her out of the house for going home late and not asking permission. Let me tell you that Rikki is in her late 30’s; she’s not very young, a savvy business woman and very independent — she do what she likes, and that irritate the other women in her house.

Now I learned from Rikki that she and her boyfriend would get married earlier than planned because the situation in her house is becoming unbearable, listening to the accusations of her sisters and mother is becoming too much. Her only consolation is her dad, who understands her and support whatever decision she has in her life. She knows he is the one; they will get married eventually with all the trappings of a dream wedding, but that has to be sacrificed to escape her old life and start a new one with the person she loves and let time heal old wounds.

When she told me she’s getting married, I didn’t see the twinkle in her eyes, and I saw sadness. Didn’t hear the excitement of the announcement; instead, I hear and feel frustration. I feel sad for my younger sister,  and all I can offer was my commitment to be here for her and support whatever she decide like a sister.

When we finished talking, and Rikki left, I started to think about the feelings of women in the similar situation, those persecuted for choosing to love unconditionally, worst those persecuted by their family in the guise of morality and religion.

Regardless of religion, ethnicity, race, beliefs, we are all the same human capable of expressing our feelings the way we want to.

I do.

Writer’s Quote Wednesday : Books, Love and Affection

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Whoever thought of this quote is brilliant. I can really attest to this and I am sure many of you will too. The best time to introduce books is when they are young at the same time the bond between parents grow too — the voice, the cuddling, the embrace and the interactions allows both to appreciate each other and grow in love.

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The connections brought on by books are priceless. I just wish that children and parents will continue to bond and grow in love with books around them.

Happy Wednesday!

Friends if you wish to share your quotes and stories about your love of books and the authors you awriters-quote-wed-20151dmire and influence your writing do join us at Writer’s Quote Wednesday hosted by Silver Threading.

Unconditional Mother’s Love

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Ano ang patay? (What is death?) chorus the 3 boys.

Cristy, the group’s secretary was shocked with the question and fumbled to find the right words to explain the children the meaning of death.

Ano yung kabaong? (What is a coffin?) Bakit nakahiga si Nanay sa kabaong? (Why is mother lying inside a coffin?) Bakit hindi sya sa kama na lang mahiga? (Why can’t she just sleep on the bed?)

Again Cristy lost with words and when she almost cannot control her emotions and in the brink of crying, she changed the topic.

The boys did not go to school yesterday, the morning of their mom’s unexpected death. They said their father cried a lot last night and hit the wall but they have no idea what happened, they didn’t cry. They have no concept of loss or death. They were happy, laughing, joking when we came over and casually telling where their mom is like she’s just really sleeping.

Alita, the mom, was a strong woman in my opinion in spite of what the others say about her. I only met her towards the end of last year and I was impressed, she was tenacious, she knows what she wants for her children and very patient in taking care of 4 boys and 3 of them are visually impaired with physical deformities of the trunk and upper limbs. When you understand their situation, you will understand why she fight strongly to get what’s due for her children times three.

Now she’s dead.

What will happen now to the family she left behind?

The irony of the situation was that not long ago her family was featured in an afternoon social service show where Alita kept on talking about “I am training them to look after themselves because I cannot be with them all the time” like a premonition of an impending demise and the host mentioned about the parents getting old and the children are very independent and are joy to have because they bring home the medals for their parents but the reality is they will still need help from someone. (Watch the show here Mutya ng Masa).

Two weeks later the children are motherless. She’s gone like what she just said in the TV.

Because there is no money, Alita told her husband to not bother to bring her to the hospital and just used a nebulizer to help her breath until after 3 days, at night she just said I can’t go on anymore and collapsed and eventually died. Neighbors helped them get funeral services and prepare her for the wake.

How much would have cost to go and get her hospitalized? If only ... 

I heard of it late afternoon yesterday. Was in shock, I don’t want to believe it, I just saw her a month ago and we were even chummy because she was so grateful of all the help given to them by the group and I was happy to know that because that completely dispel all the negative thoughts I have of her based on the stories of other people who doesn’t like her. So we called someone who can confirm before we send out the news to the others — it was true and my friend and I were dumbfounded and immediately our thoughts went to the 3 children with disabilities.

What will happen to the children?

Who will now fight for her children’s rights?

It breaks my heart thinking about the children, the real world is cruel.

When I actually saw them last night I have to pull back and not cry because I felt pity – yes pity for the children and a lot of question rushed in my head for when she’s finally laid to rest.

When the children realize there’s no Nanay to wake them up and help them get ready to school everyday and wait for them to go home, how will they react? Will they finally understand the meaning of death?

When they don’t hear their mother’s familiar voice, will they realize she’s not waking up from resting? 

Will they finally cry? 

Their father will now have to look after all of them on top of his job driving a tricycle earning pittance I must say. They said relatives would come and mourn with them, will they talk about the children’s future?

It’s really hard to know what will happen tomorrow. We cannot do anything but to wait for the situation to settle and for the family to realize their situation. For now all we can do is to pray for her soul and for the future of the family she left behind.

For Alita … may your soul rest in peace!

Alita Malda Rest In PeaceAlita Malda Rest In Peace
In the photo with her 3 children during the May Flower festival