Dearly beloved …

Marriage is supposed to be one of the best transitions a man and woman can have in their lives. Finding the one to spend your life with is something every one of us desires because we are a creature for companionship and we are of course capable of expressing love.

But what if the marriage becomes an escape because you find yourself pushed to the wall and the only way to get out is to marry the man you’re with?

The youngest sister of my best friend is in such situation, good thing they love each other so much they are willing to get through their situation together in spite of the challenges faced now and in the future. I say that because her family does not accept her boyfriend because he is of different religious affiliation and from a broken family.

Is that ground to prevent two people expressing  their love for each other? Do they (the family) should weigh in their own agenda in the couple’s relationship?

Personally, I have nothing against mix marriages be it religion or ethnicity and does not discriminate if they come from a broken family – children are never to blame for the separation of two consenting adults but (of course) they are the ones that suffer a lot.

Let’s call my friend’s sister Rikki; they come from a big family of 7 sisters and one brother and very religious family from their mom’s side. They pride themselves to be very straightforward when it comes to marrying from other religion — they don’t like the person immediately, don’t care to know who that person is because they don’t worship the same God.

Of the two sisters that are married, one married to a Catholic and one to someone from their faith. The only brother is also married to someone from another religion but converted to their religion. The rest of the older sisters are not married.

The marriage of the sister to someone from their religion was attended by the whole family, while the another sister married to the Catholic was snubbed by their mom and the rest of the sisters. Only the dad, brother, and my family witnessed the wedding (she is my best friend since birth after all). The brother when he got married, it was clear that the future wife will convert, so they tolerated and attended with an attitude.

Now the youngest, Rikki, the 8th child is involved with a great guy but of a different religion. He was never welcomed even with the show interest to convert. Rikki’s siblings and mother’s mind are set to make it difficult for them to be happy together. It reached a point where they throw her out of the house for going home late and not asking permission. Let me tell you that Rikki is in her late 30’s; she’s not very young, a savvy business woman and very independent — she do what she likes, and that irritate the other women in her house.

Now I learned from Rikki that she and her boyfriend would get married earlier than planned because the situation in her house is becoming unbearable, listening to the accusations of her sisters and mother is becoming too much. Her only consolation is her dad, who understands her and support whatever decision she has in her life. She knows he is the one; they will get married eventually with all the trappings of a dream wedding, but that has to be sacrificed to escape her old life and start a new one with the person she loves and let time heal old wounds.

When she told me she’s getting married, I didn’t see the twinkle in her eyes, and I saw sadness. Didn’t hear the excitement of the announcement; instead, I hear and feel frustration. I feel sad for my younger sister,  and all I can offer was my commitment to be here for her and support whatever she decide like a sister.

When we finished talking, and Rikki left, I started to think about the feelings of women in the similar situation, those persecuted for choosing to love unconditionally, worst those persecuted by their family in the guise of morality and religion.

Regardless of religion, ethnicity, race, beliefs, we are all the same human capable of expressing our feelings the way we want to.

I do.