August was my sixth month on expatriation, in a country not so much different from mine, with people not so unfamiliar except maybe the language and the food but I felt at home in Cambodia. Not discounting the fact that my brother was there and many of his friends became mine as well and of course the new people from all over that I met. It was a comfort I was not refusing.
Within those six months, the life I chose to grow on me … It was the time when I started thinking for myself as an adult and being treated as one. I was out of my parents house and was living on my own which was my dad’s biggest fear being the youngest in the siblings of four, but he just have to accept that I’ve grown, different from the girl he visits in the dorm back in the days (Dad and Mom visited me the following year and confirmed that I was doing just right by their standards).
Making decisions as a grown up and also broken hearted were two milestones in my adult life that I was struggling back then. Away from the comforts of homes, away from the familiar, out of the box. I had no one to turn to for the much-needed pep talk; blogging was not yet “in” then, I still write in my journal and friends are not a phone call away anymore. I was alone, the “me, I and I” thought crept in and so I decided to discover myself, to know what I want, to see what could become of me to take on the challenge on my own. I trudge the unfamiliar … learned to adapt (well) in my new life and the people in it was not easy and was not difficult either. I guess when you’re in that situation it just kicks in – you just do what you have to do and live each day discovering more about life as it comes.
As I got deeper into the kind of work I do, I started to shed my naïve view of the world and started to embrace the reality that life is not all peaches and cream. Unfamiliar and challenging I was ready, though afraid I was happy at the same time. The discovery of one’s calling is a life changing experience and maybe for others creepy but still it’s again embracing fear and going through it headstrong.
I made the leap of faith that had brought me so much joy, pain and fulfillment in my life and I can always look back and never have regrets of what I’ve done and what had become of me. But the journey is not yet finish I am still on it …
Cambodia (August 2000)